Marijuana Sucks

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Picture a small town, Midwest USA. A place you've never heard of, although the name is not important. This is the kind of place where kids were just as likely to drive a tractor to school as not.

A sleepy place, but trouble was brewing. It was a place primed for class warfare.

It all started when rock music became louder and more aggressive. Certain students began to grow their hair and drive Camaros. They listened to Led Zepplin and they smoked, well, they smoked them funny cigarettes. Jazz cabbage.

The farmboys who felt they owned the town decided to take a stand. They circled their tractors one morning after the fall harvest was in, and they came to a conclusion. They would send a message, loud and clear. A simple message displayed loud and proud on plain white T-shirts that Aunt Edna printed at her cousin's shop where they engraved the football trophies each year.

That message would let everyone know how they felt about those long haired hippie types and their complicated shoes.

The following Monday, there was an unveiling in the cafeteria. A dozen FFA jackets were removed simultaneously, and there they were. A dozen white t-shirts declaring that 'Marijuana Sucks.'

Of course the plan backfired in a way that would have been genius if it were not an accident. The stoners found this message delicious in its irony. A week later, a dozen jean jackets with iron on Steal Your Face patches were removed, and soon most of the student body of the sleepy little school wore the shirts. Marijuana Sucks.